Love, Crime & Other Trouble

by Charming Disaster

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  • Compact Disc (CD)

    Charming Disaster's debut album doesn't officially release until January 2015 -- but you can get your copy early, starting on Halloween.

    The CD comes in an attractive gatefold case, with secret artwork on the face of the disc.

    Digital pre-orders will be downloadable instantaneously. CD pre-orders will be shipped with an autographed Charming Disaster postcard -- perfect for your scrapbooking or correspondence needs.

    Includes digital pre-order of Love, Crime & Other Trouble. You get 11 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it's released.
    digital album releases 15 January 2015
    item ships out on or around 03 November 2014

     $10 USD or more

     

  • Pre-order of Love, Crime & Other Trouble. You get 11 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it's released.
    releases 15 January 2015

     $10 USD  or more

     

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04:01
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03:31
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05:26
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03:30
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03:03
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03:29
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03:15
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03:11
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credits

releases 15 January 2015

All songs written and composed by Ellia Bisker & Jeff Morris.
Produced by Don Godwin and Charming Disaster.
Recorded, mixed & mastered by Don Godwin at Phantom Center, Brooklyn, NY.
Album cover photo by Peter Rad.

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about

Charming Disaster Brooklyn, New York

Murder ballads and love songs involving death, crime, and the supernatural. A duo project by the songwriters behind Kotorino and Sweet Soubrette.

"Dangerously torchy noir cabaret and gypsy rock" -New York Music Daily

Recommended for those who enjoy duets about murder, auto theft, ghosts, carnival performers, con artists, wild animals, and sinister administrative professionals.
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Track Name: Ghost Story
People bring me casseroles
And pray for his immortal soul
They think I’m in widow’s weeds
But pity’s the last thing I need

I dress in black and wear a veil
To hide bright eyes and skin so pale
And make sure that nobody sees
The marks of love my lover leaves

Since the day they told me he was gone
Haunts me faithfully from dusk till dawn
Hear him whisper sweetly in my ear
Can’t you see we got a good thing here

Feel his fingertips caress my hair
Turn around and there is nothing there
Phantom arms around me sleeping near
Can’t you see we got a good thing here

When some people pass away
They don't reach the heaven that they prayed
Bitter about the fallacy
The afterlife turned out to be

They bitch and moan and hide your keys
Or talk to psychics on TV
They just groan and shake their chains
When I say my baby's on the physical plane

When I died upon that cold cold night
Made a promise never leave her side
Now she knows that there's nothing to fear
Can’t you see we got a good thing here

I run my fingers through her hair
She turns around and there's nothing there
Wrap my arms around her sleeping near
Can’t you see we got a good thing here

My husband cooling in the ground, the worms crawl in and out
My lover’s disembodied soul makes me so happy now
When they drew their pistols and they fired each one shot
How could I have imagined this sweet bliss would be my lot

I used to be an angry man, I wanted things that weren’t mine
At fifteen paces in the sand I left that all behind
Now my spirits rise when she turns out the bedroom light
I gently haunt my lover in the cold and tender night

They try to comfort me with platitudes
They don't know I'm in a real fine mood
There's no reason I should shed one tear
Can't you see we got a good thing here

Don't talk to me of “death do us part”
Between us we share one beating heart
Candles flicker in the chandelier
Can't you see we got a good thing here
Track Name: Ocean City
Road trip on a summer day
Need a little getaway
Leave the city far behind
Out of state and out of mind
Cross the border cross the bridge
Make a stop but make it quick
Rear view mirror cloud of dust
Are they catching up with us

If we can make it to ocean city
Everything will be all right
Make it down the Jersey Turnpike
Make it through the night
They will lose us in the blur
Of spinning carnival rides
We can start over together
In the blinking neon lights
So baby drive

We met up to say goodbye
Now I can't remember why
Cause that was back yesterday
Before this ragtop Chevrolet
Parked there like the answer yes
Outrun our unhappiness
That's when you saw the key
To our future on the front seat

We don’t know what’s waiting for us
We don’t have a plan
Can’t imagine anybody else
Would understand
But the top is down
The wind is in our hair
We feel alive
So baby put a little lead in it and drive
Track Name: Showgirl
Mama ran the family grocery store
Ran a little card game through the pantry door
And every night as Papa snored
She would deal to the boys

He busted in the place around a quarter to two (The night came)
A freshly minted copper with something to prove
"This a bust, nobody move"
I held my mama as she cried

I just got carried away I couldn't help it
I try to get by all by myself
It didn't have to be this way
I got carried away

Worked my way up from the tenement beat
Finally made detective after years on the street
I could never forget the way she looked at me
A fire burning in her eyes

The next time that I saw her she was all grown up (The night came)
Sparkling in spangles at the Club Deluxe (He waltzed right in)
The owner was known as the king of the mob
And my showgirl she was on his arm

I just got carried away...

I noticed when that copper started hanging around
Whatever he was looking for it's not what he found
He was there on a job for the boys downtown
But that's not why he was working so hard

He never said a word but I could see what I saw (The night came)
My heart was at war in a fight to the draw (How could I win)
How could I jump into the arms of the law
All I could do was keep up my guard

I just got carried away...

The night came (It was just a matter of time)
We moved in (One night he didn't come home)
The big sting (Beauty isn't a crime)
We hauled them in (Why should I go it alone)

The night came (It was just a matter of time)
He moved in (Before I won her affection)
A girl needs (So tell me is it a crime)
Protection (I offered protection)

My gangster went up river he was serving hard time
I didn’t forget about him but he’d never be mine
And my cop was so far from a life of crime
But one day I knew he’d stolen my heart

She loved me like the dream we had so long delayed
Then she got a little cough that wouldn’t go away
She didn't tell a soul till it was too late
When she closed her eyes the angels sang

I just got carried away...
Track Name: Wolf Song
The wolf in you speaks
To the wolf in me
It’s the language of beasts
We speak it fluently

Wolf tugs at the leash
Leads me astray
Leads you to me
Are we a pack
Or running free
How big our eyes
How sharp our teeth

There are no words
For what we need
The hunger bites and burns
The wolf heart beats

It’s not like this
For everyone
Our wolves run wild
They might just eat us up
Track Name: Artichoke
Your prickly spines conceal a tender heart
No ordinary ornament
Who dares to scrape you with their teeth
Will find that everything seems sweet

Your scaly petals spiral round your core
You always leave me wanting more
I eat but leave unsatisfied
You only whet my appetite

Turtle green I greedily devour
Open up to me just like the delicatest flower
I send to you this lover’s note
My secret hope
My artichoke

I'll reach your center sooner love or later
Slowly lift away your every overlapping layer
I send to you this lover's note
My secret hope
My artichoke

Your thorny leaves may be your best defense
Oh thistle oh you succulent
No epicure could long resist
The urge to taste you on their lips

Armored blossom I would steam you gently
Show you my devotion dear if only you would let me
I send to you this lover’s note
My secret hope
My artichoke
Track Name: Secretary
Secretary says you've got a meeting
And the Secretary's always right
You don't know what you'd do without her
And you can't even remember
How you met her but she runs your life

She keeps the wolves away when you most need it
And you need it more than yesterday
Pencil in her hair is always sharp
But nothing's sharper than the look she gives you
When you try to make her stay

Secretary knows your weaknesses
A dozen roses' sweetness is
No more than she deserves from you
Tell her to tell you what to do

You don't know where she goes when she leaves you
Even if you did who would believe you

The shouting on the phone has gotten frequent
Hands are shaky and you need a shave
Secretary steps out for a minute
Hands you whiskey razors aspirin
And the order for your wife’s bouquet

The smell of smoke is always on her breath
Though you’ve never seen her smoke a single cigarette

Did you get the Secretary's memo
Pay attention cause it's gonna hurt
Secretary says she'll take a letter
Did you let her take the thing that's beating
Underneath your starched white shirt

Is she on your side or taking over
She'll eat your heart if you tell her you love her
Track Name: Grifters
My mama always said
You can’t cheat an honest man (Can’t con a con)
It’s not a lie my love if they believe you (It’s not a lie it could be true)
So tell them anything dear (Just tell them what they want to hear)
And wrap them round your finger
And take them for what they’ve got before they leave you

I used to be a gambler
But the odds were never good (Not in my favor)
My lucky stars were never my best feature (I rely upon my charm)
So I cut it out with cards (And dice and betting at the races)
I was working much too hard
I was born to live the life of leisure

Let’s take this sleepy town by storm
And when the sheep have all been shorn
We’ll be gone just like the gentle breeze of yesterday
With your skills and my good looks
Those fish’ll be begging for the hook
Reeled in by our seductive serenade

The Bible says God’s creatures
All look out for number one (It’s human nature)
This golden rule has been my bread and butter (What you do, do unto others)
You may plan to double cross me (Slip a dagger in in the back)
But I’m sticking with this horse
If the con is long enough it doesn’t matter

I go by many names dear
And some call me a snake (Bastard cheat and saint)
To others I’m the closest of their friends (I keep my enemies much closer)
When they ask about my living (Exactly what is it you do)
I give them no misgiving
Cause what I trade in is their confidence

Since we met I don’t know if I’ve fallen for you baby
Or if you’ve set me up to take the fall
Love is just another con
A fairy tale to lead them on
But together baby maybe we could love them all
Track Name: Osiris
Go out on the marshes
Pick the pieces up
They chopped him into
Little bits I gathered

Anoint yourself in myrrh and
Walking through serrated grasses
Close the gap that's come
Between us

Lord of love
Dead man
Resurrection
Twin sister
Empress
Crying Isis

Better call the priestess
Crack the cedar chest
Hook out his heart and
Wrap him in white linen

Jackal headed doctor
Cut the bandages
The queen is weeping
Tears into the river

Osiris

Pole the barge
Down the Nile
Through the papyrus
Attended by crocodiles

Sink into the silt
Come back again
Eternal life hangs on
The lightness of a feather

Wheel above the vultures
Winged scavengers
Trace hieroglyphs
The king is reassembled
Track Name: Deep in the High
Give me a kiss before I'm to go
A lingering kiss to keep me warm
Pack your things and don't tell a soul
My clumsy dancer, my good luck charm
I think of you when I'm up in the air
Things we'll do when we get out of here
The net stretched to catch me's the trap that I'm in
My future's in pictures all over your skin

Deep in the high that does nothing but fall
Swing on a wire high over it all
I look down at the sky and up at the floor
Deep in the high that does nothing but fall

We were so young and innocent
Back then when we first met
You were so tender and sweet
I cherish the memory
Words that you said to me
You swept me right off my feet
Now I know a couple things
There's our life in the ring
Then there's the life that you live
You've grown cold and distant
It's making me desperate
Something is going to give

Beware the snake charmer with the lazy green eye
She's a hotheaded harpy with a murderous mind
I've been in her coils for ten years of my life
A pox on these rings which do nothing but bind
It must have been madness when we were wed
The liquor of passion gone straight to our heads
Ever since then there's been only regret
Bile in our hearts and snakes in our bed

Deep in the high that does nothing but fall
We had our time darling, that time is no more
I look down at the sky and up at the floor
Deep in the high that does nothing but fall

You're a bastard
Seedy unscrupulous
Candy ass dilettante
Lazy Lothario
Rat turd
You're a bastard
Self-centered impotent
Cheap inconsiderate
Two-timing ignorant
Layabout flatulent
Mama's boy
Drunken disaster
You're a son of a whore

Deep in the high that does nothing but fall
I loved you too much if I loved you at all
I look down at the sky and up at the floor
Deep in the high that does nothing but fall

I know that you lied to me
I've got a memory
Long as an elephant's trunk
I'll make you remember me
Now I'm your enemy
You will regret what you've done
Think of all of the years we spent
Under this circus tent
Now I am wondering why
You'll know what I meant
It'll look like an accident
When I teach you how to fly

He flies through the air with the greatest of ease
The daring young man on the flying trapeze
His movements are graceful the girls he does please
The daring young man on the flying trapeze

Deep in the high that does nothing but fall
Swing on a wire high over it all
I loved you too much if I loved you at all
We had our time darling, that time is no more
I look down at the sky and up at the floor
Deep in the high that does nothing but fall
Track Name: Knife Thrower
The ritual’s the same
Almost every night
You strap me to the board
And pull the blindfold tight
I know you’re there
So I know it’s gonna be all right
As I start to spin
I feel my heart ignite

I weigh the heavy blades
Before I let them fly
They find their mark like homing pigeons
Winging through the sky
And when we’re on the stage
You are the apple of my eye
My loveliest of lovely assistants
When I throw the knives

No one lives forever
In this spinning carnival
Most don't live at all
If we stay together
We can save us from ourselves
Or else we're bound to fall

I know sometimes the blades
Will gently brush your side
The audience will gasp
And their eyes go wide
Without this touch
I know I cannot survive
A kiss from me to you
When the air's electrified

Lying on my back
I look into the sky
Is that a shooting star
Or a lonely satellite
Or is the earth moving
Beneath the night
As it starts to spin
I feel my heart ignite

We both know the secret
There is no greater thrill
Than chasing a close call
If we stay together
We can keep each other safe
When we risk it all

As I start to spin
I feel my heart ignite
Track Name: I Know You Know
The ashtray on the windowsill
Fills with falling rain
The morning meets my eyes again
The things we never say
When we're wide awake
I hear them echo through the day

Rattle around in my dreams why don’t you
Little bird, my turtledove
You’re walking in my sleep like there is
Something that you need to know
I know you know I know
I know you know I know

The sleeve your elbow went through
The holes you never patch
Your tattered rags in shades of black
Clothes don't make the man
But I love that velvet coat
The ties I’ve fixed around your throat

Rattle around in my dreams why don’t you
Dirty dog, you billy goat
You’re walking in my sleep like there is
Something that you need to know
I know you know I know
I know you know I know

Maybe there's a way
To ease my worried head
Prescription filled or fortune read
But no doctor fortune teller
Could treat me like you do
I go to bed and wait for you

Rattle around in my dreams why don’t you
Whisper things in secret code
You’re walking in my sleep like there is
Something that you need to know
I know you know I know

Every night I close my eyes and see your face
Do I imagine you or is it you that waits
Is this a conversation that’s so strange and sweet
Or does my memory play tricks on me

Rattle around in my dreams why don’t you
Whisper things in secret code
You dirty dog, you little bird
You billy goat, my turtledove
You’re walking in my sleep like there is
Something that you need to know
I know you know I know
I know you know I know
You know I know you know
I know you know I know