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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Charming Disaster's debut CD comes in an attractive gatefold case, with secret artwork on the face of the disc.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Love, Crime & Other Trouble via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Our debut album in high quality 12" vinyl LP format, lovingly manufactured at Furnace Pressing in Alexandria, VA. Full-color jacket, label art. Limited edition.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Love, Crime & Other Trouble via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • The Charming Disaster Oracle Deck is suitable for divination, high-stakes gambling, or art appreciation. It contains 60 cards, each inspired by a different Charming Disaster song and depicting an archetype, concept, or character found in that song. The deck features original illustrations commissioned for this project from two dozen talented artists, silver gilt edging, and a 52-page divination guide booklet written in collaboration with arcanist and poet Jacob Rakovan, packaged in a handsome tuck box.

    A digital version is also available: charmingdisaster.gumroad.com/l/oracledeck

    Featuring illustrations by the following artists:
    Carrie Alexandria Caster
    Ellia Bisker
    Dame Darcy
    Ted Enik & Shiloh Penfield
    Ben Eshleman
    Camilla Finlay
    Omer Gal
    Devon Greig
    Bob Howard
    A. Nancy Koutsouflakis
    Erich S. Lehman
    Thos. Little
    Madame Onça
    Jeff Morris
    Carolyn Raship
    Logan Riley
    Jeff Ritchie
    Susan Saas
    Charles Schneider
    Ben Shafer
    Jacquelyn Marie Shannon
    Turtle Grenade
    Vincent Vaughan
    Steven Warrick
    Zalman Zuckerbraun
    ... more
    ships out within 5 days
    7 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $40 USD or more 

     

lyrics

Secretary says you've got a meeting
And the Secretary's always right
You don't know what you'd do without her
And you can't even remember
How you met her but she runs your life

She keeps the wolves away when you most need it
And you need it more than yesterday
Pencil in her hair is always sharp
But nothing's sharper than the look she gives you
When you try to make her stay

Secretary knows your weaknesses
A dozen roses' sweetness is
No more than she deserves from you
Tell her to tell you what to do

You don't know where she goes when she leaves you
Even if you did who would believe you

The shouting on the phone has gotten frequent
Hands are shaky and you need a shave
Secretary steps out for a minute
Hands you whiskey razors aspirin
And the order for your wife’s bouquet

The smell of smoke is always on her breath
Though you’ve never seen her smoke a single cigarette

Did you get the Secretary's memo
Pay attention cause it's gonna hurt
Secretary says she'll take a letter
Did you let her take the thing that's beating
Underneath your starched white shirt

Is she on your side or taking over
She'll eat your heart if you tell her you love her

credits

from Love, Crime & Other Trouble, released February 22, 2015
Ellia Bisker: vocals & ukulele
Don Godwin: drums
Jeff Morris: vocals, bass & guitar

license

all rights reserved

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about

Charming Disaster Brooklyn, New York

Charming Disaster is a goth-folk duo based in Brooklyn, NY, formed in 2012 by Ellia Bisker and Jeff Morris. Inspired by the macabre humor of Edward Gorey and Tim Burton, the murder ballads of the Americana tradition, and the dramatic flair of the cabaret, they write songs that tell stories about death, crime, myth, magic, folklore, and the occult. ... more

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